Boosting fatherhood with a blog
My son (The Boy) went to his first pool party this weekend. Oceans and lakes are fine, but I don’t normally hop into a pool and my wife wasn’t planning on swimming either. In fact, we didn’t think we’d be at the party long because it started only 30 minutes before The Boy’s nap time.
So, have you already guessed what happened next? How fun would this blog be if he ate cake, ran around with his cousins, and never touched the water? None. Boring, indeed, and I don’t want you to be bored.
For the purpose of an entertaining blog post, we put his bathing suit on and set him on the first step of the pool to splash and have a bit of fun. He became adventurous and decided to walk ever so calmly into the deep end. My tall, healthy, yet non-swimming two-year-old son disappeared beneath the surface.
Luckily, I’m psychic and understand Murphy’s Law. I had already taken my wallet and cell phone out of my pockets and my shoes and socks were off. Car keys hadn’t quite made it out yet, but time waits for no man. There I was, jumping into the pool with shorts and shirt to rescue The Boy. I was his Lifeguard. All was well.
1 hour emergency loans Later that afternoon, I began to think about other instances in which I’ve saved his life. (Its amazing how suicidal toddlers can be!) I, like countless fathers before me, have fulfilled the roles of many jobs without monetary compensation and thought I would take a moment to reflect. To add up my son’s debt to dad.
The following list is based on employment in California, the U.S. state in which I live. Please adjust rates as necessary for your own location:
Lifeguard (saved The Boy from drowning)
Avg. annual pay: $17,000
Crossing guard (saved The Boy from wandering into traffic)
Avg. annual pay: $25,000
I could go for traffic cop salary on this one, but that would just be ego talking.
NFL wide receiver (saved The -infant- Boy from hitting the floor after rolling off the bed)
Avg. annual pay: $1,054,437
In just these three cases, multiplied by his two years of life, my son already owes me $2,192,874. It now seems more appropriate to stop contributing to his 529 college savings account and shift that money to a new 5150 crazy kid account. He owes me. A lot.
What other crazy jobs do we dads fulfill? What are some of your best stories? Don’t be shy. Share your stories in the comment section below.