Raising children is a balancing act. The minute they are born they become the most important thing in your life. You are transformed - but you don’t disappear. Your own hopes, dreams, ambitions, desires don’t vanish into thin air and you will be a better parent if you manage to maintain your own individuality and follow your own passions while also nurturing theirs. Children will thrive with happy, fulfilled parents and they don’t need the pressure of carrying all your hopes and dreams.

It is a bit easier to maintain the juggle now that my children are a little older -aged 7, 10 and 13- and are all in school full time. I’ve been asked time and again how I’ve managed to balance childcare duties with my own writing and music career. There is no simple answer beyond being fully committed to doing so, and having a wife who has always understood my need to keep writing and keep playing guitar – keep being myself.

I’m writing this post right now on a computer precariously perched on my lap, sitting in a park in a fold-up chair as my 7-year-old daughter practices soccer on a field in front of me. I’m struggling to finish because when her practice ends in 10 minutes, we’ll go home, where my sons are hopefully finishing up their homework, and I’ll make dinner for them all. After we eat, I’ll leave the kids with a sitter and rush across town to discuss my book, Big in China, at some friends’ book club. When I get home, hopefully my wife – herself exhausted from a long day at work – will still be awake, so we might have a glass of wine and some time to talk.

It’s a hectic schedule and there are times when I toss so many balls in the air I fear they will all will come crashing down. But I don’t want to give anything up, so I’ve grown accustomed to living with a certain amount of insanity and have adopted a simple motto: Embrace the Chaos! I suggest you do the same.

Alan Paul is the author Big In China (Harper) a memoir about raising three American children in Beijing and forming Woodie Alan, an award-winning blues band with three Chinese musicians. Ivan Reitman's Montecito Pictures has optioned the film rights. He also penned the "Panda Dad" blog essay on WSJ.com. His book has been added to the exclusive ProActiveDads "Dad Books" list and is available for purchase at Amazon.com or any major bookstore.