As I look back on it during this fresh morning, I still hold the opinion that my two-year-old son had a great day yesterday. His behavior was positive, he ate well, he spent some valuable time with extended family, he didn't get injured (a miracle on its own), and he experienced new things (first ride on Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyland). As a Dad, days like those give me a wonderful feeling of "nachas" (Yiddish word meaning joy or pride).

So what am I doing wrong? You see, in addition to being very proud of my son and enjoying the great day I had with him and my wife, I also had a Thanksgiving moment. By that I mean while I was thankful for what I have, I also thought of the flip side of the coin. As parents, we love to think about and talk about the moments of pride we experience with our kids:

"Oh, wasn't Billy excellent at the party? He was polite and shared with the other children!"
"Yeah, she's a doctor now. We must have done something right."
"Omar was just promoted again. He's now head of the entire janitorial department at Microsoft. He learned his work ethic from me!"

Rarely do we have those educational moments (for ourselves and other parents) that go like this:

"Micah's rap sheet got a bit longer last night. I just wished I was more supportive of him in school all those years ago."
"My daughter has horrible table manners. I'm sorry about your dishes! I should have known that ''I'll let her do whatever she wants as long as she eats' isn't really a good excuse when they're twelve."
"My son is up to 300lbs. now. Maybe sending him to school everyday with soda and a brownie was a bad idea."

I think parents have always been defensive about themselves and their choices. Heaven help someone who calls our parenting ability into question. Ironically, EVERY parent in the world has cast doubt upon another.

"They just don't hold that baby right."
"Have you seen how much of a momma's boy he is? She probably hugged him too much as a child."
"I've always known that kid would end up in jail. His parents let him get away with everything."
"Did you ever meet Mrs. Manson? All that stuff in the news about Charlie is no suprise to us!"

How often do you question your own choices? We've all experienced moments of despair when we can't get the crying child to feel better or the grades just never seem to improve in school. But when those moments come, are you really analyzing your own behavior or simply feeling sorry for yourself? I think its important to truly be introspective and remember that we only get one shot at this. There is no going back to yesterday. We can only move forward. (If I think of any more clichés, I'll let you know.)

Our kids depend on us for many years to make the right choices and help them develop into positive, social, ready-to-face-the-world adults. I think we owe it to them to consider suggestions given by other parents; analyze our own choices when they have negative results; and think about long-term effects of short-term actions. I don't want to imply that any parent has all the answers or that you should constantly question yourself. Well, not constantly. Sometimes parents make executive decisions and they must be made right then-and-there, let the chips will fall where they may. But that doesn't prevent us from reflecting later.

Our careers as parents are educational for our children. They should be educational for us as well. When you wrote "2+2=5" on your first math test, the teacher said you got it wrong. Do you want to keep writing "5" as the answer forever?