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She has a glow. She has a belly bump. She has new pillows. She has a party. She has new gifts. He has the solitude of his garage. He has food runs at 2am for the special kind of chocolate chip cookies. (Right, honey?) He has hormone swings...hers. He has less sleep. He has less sex.  While all of the above may be absolutely true and each of you will find something to relate to, they are far from the complete picture and they leave out some of the most imporant and enjoyable parts of becoming a Father. Whether its your first child or you're trying to be the next Jon & Kate (minus the drama, egos, and divorce), there is plenty to take pleasure in. The following is an unconventional list of a few of the ways you can enjoy and take pride the pregnancy process:
1. Gadgets - In case you've missed the last 20 years, gadgets have been invented for damn near every conceivable purpose. If you're jealous of the doctor's ability to listen to the baby's heartbeat, go buy your own at home heart monitor. Or start researching some of the new 3D/4D ultrasound places*. Show Mom that you want to be a part of the pregnancy and not just an observer. These new ultrasounds provide some interesting "first photos" of your kid and most do video. Lots of fun tech stuff!
2. Pride - This is usually one of the lesser-spoken-of aspects of impending Fatherhood. Sure, there's the usual machismo about how baby was conceived or that you've done something masculine like planting your seed and continuing the family. All good. All fun. All manly. But you better take a lot of pride in the task you are about to start. Whether or not you're the biological Father doesn't really matter. You're about to embark upon the path of raising a child. You will teach and learn, discipline and reward, play and embarrass, love and love. The future of this little baby is in your hands, and that is literal more times than you plan. Be a ProActiveDad - be involved in their life, be a positive role model, and take a huge amount of pride in your success. People will see that Mom isn't the only one putting forth effort.
3. Put on the tool belt - I'm not exactly an engineer. My wife and I are lucky the house hasn't blown up yet. But when she got pregnant, I knew there were going to be more than a few opportunities for me to remodel/rebuild/create projects around the house. Need more storage? Time to build a shed. Need a new nursery? Head to Lowe's for paint, floor moulding, nails, screws, shelving systems, and trash bags. Don't forget the crib. That could be the most complicated part of all. And start praying now if you had all the troubles I did. Almost had to send mine back - AFTER I WAS DONE!
4. Bloody biology - This one won't be for everyone. But if you're into science, biology, and tech, you're going to LOVE birth! Never have I been so amazed by the human female body (and that says a lot) than when I saw the birth of my son. I still remember it vividly. More than once I had the following reaction: "What the hell?!" The things I saw happen still leave me in awe. I'll leave the details out, but rest assured, there is no shortage of cool stuff going on. Shiny monitors, beeping devices, electrical gauges, etc. And once you see the arrival of your child(ren), you'll understand EXACTLY why I called this "bloody biology".
5. Adult bonding - No other experience in your life will allow you and the Mom to bond in such ways. Conversations will be different, even if its not your first child. A new baby always ushers in changes and those need to be talked about. You will find yourselves sharing in your fears and dreams, talking about where you were before and how you got to where you are now, and enjoying more moments together as they will never be the same. Revel in such times and commit them to memory. Take pride in forging or maintaining a great relationship with Mom because it is critical as you raise this new child together.
You're becoming a Dad. Maybe not for the first time. Take pride in it and share that with everyone else. If you look and act like a passive observer, you have no right to expect to be treated any better. She will deserve all the attention because you are failing to earn yours. Most importantly, you're failing to exemplify what a good Father can be. What he should be.
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