No matter how many pictures I peruse or memories I revisit I can't seem to figure out where the time has gone.  Two and a half years ago I became the proud dad of a beautiful baby girl.  This past autumn, she started going to preschool and took to it like a fish to water.  She started out going two days a week and we soon added a third.

As surprising as the monthly and even daily changes can be, perhaps there's something to be said for looking back on how we got where we are - something I can share with other parents who are learning how to be a parent, too.  There isn't any manual or guidebook that can tell you how to be a Pro-Active Dad, of course.  It will be different for every dad and for every child.  Still, I hope my thoughts on selecting a preschool will help others direct their searches.

My wife and I were very lucky in our search.  Our synagogue runs a semi-autonomous preschool program that starts for children as young as 12 months at the start of the school year.  Returning students and siblings get first priority on the spots, followed by synagogue members, and finally the rest of the community.  However, there are almost always a few open spaces so entrance isn't competitive.

A few of the factors we considered in our search were price, program, schedule, facilities, and student to teacher ratio.

Preschool can be very pricey, as with almost everything related to child rearing these days.  Our synagogue's price point was only about a third of comparable programs in our area.  After a bit of investigation, it wasn't really clear why there was such a cost difference aside from the fact that the preschool shares the same facility with the synagogue and religious school.  Likely building and maitainance costs are thus lower.  If you can find a preschool that's part of a larger institution, you may find the same price difference.

The program consists of mostly creative time (artwork, song, etc.) and playtime, though they do include some religiously themed material.  For example, in the first couple of weeks alone our daughter brought home a paper shofar (a ram's horn trumpet used in Jewish religious ceremony) decorated with stickers and a handkerchief challah cover decorated with paint stamps.  We get at least two new creations every week and often more.  This has let us share plenty of her work with grandparents who, of course, love it.  The school also brings in several outside organizations to provide special activities throughout the year, such as the city library, representatives from a local museum, and a real fire truck to climb on and explore. This variety creates an interesting environment that keeps children involved and interested.

The schedule is quite flexible, with 2, 3, and 5 day options with extended care available for the older children.  Although the standard 2 day week is Tuesday/Thursday, one of our friends was able to work out a Monday/Wednesday 2 day schedule due to prior commitments and our daughter goes on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday.  This also speaks to the flexibility of the school to work with individual families' needs so all children can get the most out of the experience.

Since we're members of the synagogue and my wife had taught at the religious school, we were already familiar with what the facility had to offer.  From a well-maintained playground with several structures to clean classrooms we knew that the building was in good repair and well looked after.  The teachers and administrators show very evident interest in maintaining a healthy and safe environment for the students.  In the youngest class, there are two teachers for up to eight students.  Our daughter's class started with only six students and now has seven on the highest attendance day, so we know she's in very good hands and receives plenty of personal attention without being the only focus.

Selecting a preschool can certainly be daunting given all we hear about how prepared children do better in school.  It’s important to remember that children will learn at their own pace no matter what we as parents do for them.  Give them a safe, welcoming environment with plenty of opportunity for stimulation and they’ll come up with games you never even considered.  Hopefully they’re already teaching you almost as much as you teach them.  In the meantime, I hope my experience is helpful as you think about what may work for your child.

For those of who haven't seen or heard about it, a video posted Monday on YouTube (since taken down) involving a high school bully and his "victim" has gone viral. A friend of mine on Facebook posted it and I was amazed at what I saw.

You can watch the video for yourself and learn why tens of thousands of people all over the world are defending Casey. As reported on Deadspin.com, both boys have been suspended and this fight is getting international attention.

The boy on the left (Ritchard) is younger and obviously smaller. But for some reason he is intent on bullying a larger kid (Casey). The video begins with a bit of posturing and taunts, then a left jab to the face. Casey hardly flinches. After a few more taunts and hits, Casey defends himself.

The strange thing for me is that I'm not sure what my reaction is. Its disturbing to see two high school students fighting. Its also sad to see Ritchard so shamelessly being a bully. All pride and no brains. Casey is left with one option and that is to defend himself. But was his rage justified? I'd like to think so. When I was in high school, a friend of mine told me that his dad gave him a rule about fighting: you never start a fight, but you better finish it. Casey certainly did that. Many, many adults are cheering Casey as a hero and someone who stood up for himself. And unfortunately, there is no shortage of kids who suffer a bully and may one day explode as Casey did.

Dads, how would you handle this situation?
What if you were Ritchard's dad?
What if you were Casey's dad?

Update (Jan. 19, 2010) - Taylor finally allowed back in to class. See how this incidence of gender bias was resolved:
http://mesquiteblog.dallasnews.com/archives/2010/01/taylor-pugh-hair-in-french-bra.html

Update (Jan. 13, 2010) - School district sends letter warning of stricter in-school punishment if hair not dealt with.
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/localnews/stories/DN-hairfolo_13met.ART.State.Edition1.4bc6f6b.html

ORIGINAL BLOG POST:
Taylor Pugh, a four-year-old student at Floyd Elementary School, has been spending every school day isolated from his friends and classmates because of the length of his hair. His sandy brown locks are longer than district policy allows and his original punishment was off-campus suspension. He was denied his education because of long hair.

Now, the district has modified the punishment to in-school suspension. He spends all day with a teacher's aid in a room by themselves. His parents have said he doesn't want to cut his hair and they don't plan to force the issue. The school district claims his long hair is not condusive to a constructive learning environment.

According to Dad, Delton Pugh, he "picks his battles" and believes the school district is absolutely wrong to enforce their 40-year-old policy. In an effort to compromise, the school district has told Taylor's parents that he can keep his long hair as long as it is put into cornrows and kept tight above his ears. His parents have no intention of braiding his hair. They will continue to fight.

This scenario presents a lot of issues. School boards have the right to determine to behavior and appearance codes for their schools as a means of creating a safe and productive learning environment. Similarly, parents have the right to choose their child's appearance as long as it does not interfere with the educational opportunities of other students. So who is right when it comes to Taylor? Perhaps most importantly, this is a classic example of gender bias. The Mesquite School District dress code only stipulates that boys must keep their hair short. Girls do not share this requirement. It is this distinction that, I believe, illustrates the unfair policy of the district. If the length of a girl's hair does not impinge on the learning environment, why does a boy's?

These are pictures from the district website. Clearly, girls can learn with long hair. Perhaps they think boys aren't capable of such feats.

What do you think? Should the district change its policy or should Mom and Dad put education before style and cut Taylor's hair? What would you do?

Original article: http://wcco.com/watercooler/taylor.pugh.hair.2.1420680.html

Seems like a pretty disgusting example of abuse of power. How can you hit someone, even as a means of punishment, who probably doesn't understand why you're doing it? Exactly what lesson do you believe you are imparting? Its probably you who needs the beating.

"The report, based on federal Department of Education data, said that of the 223,190 public school students nationwide who were paddled during the 2006-7 school year, at least 41,972, or about 19 percent, were students with disabilities, who make up 14 percent of all students."

(And on a side note, this doesn't paint a rosy picture of the American South.)

Full New York Times article: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/11/education/11punish.html?_r=1

Despite the recently scorching temperatures for most of the nation, it's hard to believe that our kids' summer is almost over and we need to start preparing them for a return to school. With so many different types of families today, that can mean many different things. But no matter what the circumstances, there are ways that you can be an involved (dare we say, ProActive) Dad for your kids going back to school. According to former Secretary of Education Richard W. Riley, "...if America's Dads got as involved as America's Moms in their children's education, America's children would be studying harder and getting a lot more A's...Dads make a powerful difference in defining expectations and challenging children to do their best."

But we must give a brief mention to the elephant in the room. Dads are not the traditionally involved parent when it comes to dealing with teachers, tutors, and homework. This is your chance to shine. This is yet another opportunity to remind the world that Fatherhood is worthy of respect and you are doing your job to raise a bright, mature, and caring child.

1) Go to PTA meetings and parent conferences- if you aren't involved with your school's PTA (sometimes called PTSA - Parent Teacher Student Association), sign up. It's a great way to meet other parents who care about their kids, find out more about your child's friends, have positive interactions with the teachers and administrators who work with your child every day, and -for you single Dads- meet some wonderful Moms! You care about your kids, she cares about her kids - split a sitter and have a nice night!

2) Help with homework - It's kind of like changing a diaper. You're not expected to know everything (no parent does), but you better man up to this one and show that you're not afraid. Your child needs help with something and even if you don't know the answer, it can be beneficial to see that you are willing to learn with them. Your male bravado will still be intact and you created a bonding moment with your kid. Perhaps best of all, your child won't be afraid to come to you next time. This increases their chances for doing better in school, having high self esteem, and respecting Dad. Not a bad trade off for helping them figure out how to spell zylofone xylophone.

3) Work with the teachers - Dealing with problems after they happen isn't always necessary. In some cases, problems can be avoided altogether. With the school year beginning, take time to meet your child's teacher(s) and learn about their methodology, particular subjects covered in the upcoming year, etc. Each day your child spends in a bad classroom is wasted. You can not get it back. Make sure you are comfortable with the teacher, the curriculum, and the methods of education and discipline. Raise concerns if you have them. You're the Dad. You're the boss.

4) Volunteer in the classroom - This is perhaps the largest abyss of Dad involvement. Its not often that Dads are seen in the classroom or volunteering on field trips. In fact, most requests from the school specifically and only mention Moms. Well, you are part of the team that will break that mold. When teachers are looking for volunteers, put your name on the list. Having a male presence is rare and will probably be greatly appreciated. It will also give your child a sense of pride to see their parent being involved.

5) Healthy choices - What kind of food does the cafeteria serve? What vaccinations are required for enrollment? How often is the campus patrolled? These and others are what you should be asking. Its no wonder that America's kids are becoming larger and larger (often following the lead of their parents). Our schools have contracts with companies like Pizza Hut and Pepsi to provide nutritious and balanced meals. Sure, grease, fat, bread, sugar, and artificial colors are balanced. Make sure your kids are eating healthy. When it comes to vaccinations, each State has their own laws. In some cases, each school district. Know your rights! You can also refer to our article on swine flu to learn some things the media may not have shared.

Research has proven that involved fathers reduce the risk of their children repeating a grade, being suspended or expelled, and having GPAs below a 3.0. And these benefits are enjoyed whether the Dad is married, single, custodial, or non-custodial. Show Mom, your kids, and their teachers that you are a great Dad worthy of respect. Show them that an excellent education for your child is your priority and you're willing to make it happen.